Not Afraid

August 13, 2010

I‘m not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you’re not alone
Holla if you feel that you’ve been down the same road

- Eminem, Not Afraid -

We all have our fears. Some more than others. What are you afraid of? Me, I used to be afraid to stand up and talk before an audience. Not any more. Not even before unknown audiences or in other countries. Not even if something goes wrong, like a computer crash, no internet, heat, cold, no  mic…A couple of months ago I even took over a session of a friend, who got sick on stage. I stood up, walked up and continued his session. I had no clue what he had prepared, so I had to improvise and managed it very well. Without fear or nerves.

What happened? Like many keynote speakers I learned to get rid of my fear. How did I do this? Instead of running away from my fears, which is what most people do, I decided to face my fears! Every opportunity I got, I stood up, first hesitating, of course, then with more and more confidence.

Why? I tricked myself…Of course, I started with telling (practical) jokes to friends (small audiences), asking questions during seminars or trainings I attended as a participant. It takes courage to stand up and ask your question. And it better be a good question, right? So, I started with small exercises, then moved on to introduce speakers on stage. And at one point in time I was asked to give a session to a professional audience. I was an undercover student (clients didn’t know I was still a student) and there I suddenly had to give someone else’s presentation. Nervous at first, I surprisingly felt rather comfortable, because I knew the topic very well (As an expert, it doesn’t matter which questions they ask…bring it on!). And then I used a trick: I told myself I was playing a game. How well can you pretend to be a good speaker? Would anyone notice that I am just a student? So, I played this game and WON! No one ever knew! So, if you are uncertain, see if this trick could also work for you…You got game? :-)

By the way, if you are prepared well, you also know who will be in your audience. Did you adapt your speech to them? Are you using examples they understand? How well will you interact with them or fulfill their expectations? Interesting to know these answers before you get on stage! Did you ask?

Also, learning from peers helps tremendously too. As Eminem sings…you are not alone. Every speaker, trainer or coach went through it as well ( or still is!), so by exchanging experiences you can help each other. Focus on the positive things first. What is he/she doing right? Might be hard at first, but even the worst keynotes still have value to learn from. Can you discover what it is? Share your thoughts. If you receive feedback from others, first take it in, before your defense goes up. Don’t take yourself so seriously! Listen to what others are saying. Reflect on it. Are they right? Why (not)? Then decide if you change . Just postpone your judgement and act later…

One final thing. Be kind to yourself! Remember: Everyone has to learn. Every time you faced your fears and overcome them, reward yourself. It can be as simple as taking in the applause the audience gives you. It can be enjoying the compliments some people give you. It can be you, giving yourself a high five or big smile. You just won the game : You – Fear : 1 – 0!  :-)

So, wrapping up, here are a couple of tips if you are afraid of public speaking:

  1. know your subject (you are the expert because you are on stage, not them)
  2. know your audience (who is there? what do they expect?)
  3. be prepared and show up early
  4. take any opportunity to speak, even if it is by asking questions from the audience first
  5. ask feedback, from the audience, but also from peers
  6. go to other keynote speakers and learn from them
  7. Trust yourself and reward yourself everytime by enjoying the applause. You earned it!

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Elevator Pitch

July 28, 2010

Since I won the PSA Holland “Elevator Pitch” contest, I am receiving a lot of questions about tips for a great Elevator Pitch. Some called it an Elevator Story, Sticky Story or Pushy Pitch.

So, here are some tips of how I sometimes start the conversation:

1. When people ask me where I am from:

I am from the land of Chocolate and I live in the city of Diamonds.

Then I wait a couple of seconds while they are thinking. Most people get it right and start smiling, especially women :-)

Oh, for those who don’t know : Antwerp, Belgium

OK, I admit, sometimes they say Switzerland as well, but the diamonds are pretty convincing…

Anyway, what I am saying is : start with something different, original or funny. If you can make people smile and/or teasing them with the first thing(s) you say, you are already halfway!

When I was in New Zealand, I often told people I am from “Old Zealand”. Then I saw them thinking again and so I grabbed their attention…

So, what can you do with your location? Have fun!

2. When people ask me what I do:

I make people happy!

The first thing people do is either smile, show interest and ask me how, because they could use some happiness…or they just want to know more details. Their attention becomes interest! That’s exactly where I want them to be.

I am hacking away frustrations in people’s lives…I am a lifehacker

When I use this sentence, I also make a gesture of really hacking away stuff from their shoulders or backs. Some people are rather visually oriented and it helps them. Most people have never heard of the word “lifehacker” and find it ‘creative’ or ‘refreshing’. Of course, some think about negative stuff when they hear ‘hacker’ and they do ask. So the next bit positions it well:

Most people are looking for the easy way or the shortcuts, right? That’s exactly what I do : Genius Shortcuts! Examples are learning people how to write a 100 mails in 1 hour or if you are looking for a perfect picture in your presentation : how to scan 200 images in less than 20 seconds? You see, challenging stuff at first, but by using Genius Shortcuts you’ll see how easy it really is.

I share my Genius Shortcuts through keynotes, workshops and coaching.

Now it is time to really explain what it is that I do. I start with bringing in my own flavour of lifehacking (and for those negative people moving away from that negative feeling): Genius Shortcuts. Since I already gave them several pieces of info that might be new to them I share examples immediately after. It makes it more tangible. Now they get a clear understanding what it is that I do. Of course, I adapt the examples to their context!

I also advise you to give at least 2 examples, just in case 1 is not relevant for them (exceptions do exist :-) ).

Finally, I tell them how I add value and how I share it…through keynotes, etc. Now they know how they can hire me, right?

So, what exactly is it that you do?

3. Satisfy their needs

Isn’t it frustrating for a xyz (fill in their occupation) like you to loose so much time on abc (an activity they find frustrating)?

Think about one of your big frustrations that consumes a lot of your energy. Now, how would you feel if you got rid of it?

Imagine how it would feel if you have 2 hours extra every day?

These are just example sentences, which I am using depending on how well I already know the other person(s). Now, I get them thinking and feeling how it would be when they hire me. Definitely fueling their desire and showing them that I can deliver (or really hack away their frustrations). Yes, one of my signature workshops guarantees that I save people 2 hours/day! Yes, I do have references :-)

Which needs do you satisfy? Use them in your Elevator Pitch!

4. Call to action

Hold on to that feeling and …

any sales person can tell you that this is important. Ever wondered why you have to sit in a car when they sell it to you? Or why they give you the product in your hand while they sell it? Exactly, so you can experience how it really feels…how real it all is. I do the same. If people feel how it would be without this particular frustration, how their lives would look like, they will get in a good (great?) mood. that’s exactly where I want them, right?

come and talk to me afterwards and I’ll share some free Genius Shortcuts with you, so you can actually be happier!

when I am on stage giving my Elevator Pitch. People who got triggered come and see me afterwards. Sometimes the response is a bit overwhelming :-)

enroll for my free ecourse at my website and start enjoying some free Genius Shortcuts, so you can actually be happier!

If it is in a 1-to-1 conversation, I am handing out my businesscard and show them where my website is. By giving away added value to them, I am already solving some of their frustrations. And a lot of people actually sign up for this free ecourse…

If there is more time I could invite them to read my blog, where I have written a number of articles on lifehacks and Genius Shortcuts. Or I even tell them about open workshops. Occasionally ( I am not a hardseller) I might ask them if they would be interested in an inhouse training or keynote and what the next steps would look like.

You probably get it by now. My Elevator Pitch has different moments where the other person can/will be triggered and will ask for more details. The more they ask, the more I can give. I am convinced it is also paramount to give them some added value right away. This means that in most cases I will share one (or more) of my Genius Shortcuts on the spot (or when they come and see me afterwards).

Note: Most (marketing/sales)people are familiar with the AIDA-model (no, not the Opera :-) ) and will have recognized it. In step 1 I aroused Attention. In step 2 I really got their Interest. During step 3 I give enough info to go to their Desire and finally in step 4, if they really want a taste of Genius Shortcuts, they are called for Action. Needless to say that it often works like a charm. I invite you to develop your own story! And share it with us…

Final tip: Avoid too many technical terms! People will not understand you or it might take you too much time to explain it. Search for easy-to-understand synonyms.

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Inch by Inch

May 2, 2010

I am a big fan of Al Pacino. To me, he is one of the greatest actors alive! Next to inspiring quotes, he also creates memorable scenes in movies like the Godfather, Scarface, Scent of a Woman, Heat, the Devil’s Advocate and the Insider. Another movie that gave me goosebumps is the speech that Tony D’Amato (Pacino’s character) gives to his football team in Any Given Sunday. I am using this motivational speech in my coaching practice and also as a personal inspiration regularly. And yes, it still gives me goosebumps. Why? His voice, the intonation, the scenery…magic!

Pacino’s speech is about inches. Life is just a game of inches! Inches that make the difference between winning and loosing, between living and dying and if you haven’t heard this speech or seen it yet, just experience it for yourself. Contemplate on it. Whenever you feel like giving up, just think about this speech again and make a difference, inch by inch!

So, for those who want to watch it, I included the YouTube clip and below you can find the written text. Hopefully it inspires you too! Oh, by the way, this article is indeed written on Any Given Sunday :-)

Enjoy Every (Sun)Day!

“I don’t know what to say really.
Three minutes
to the biggest battle of our professional lives
all comes down to today.
Either
we heal
as a team
or we are going to crumble.
Inch by inch
play by play
till we’re finished.
We are in hell right now, gentlemen
believe me
and
we can stay here
and get the shit kicked out of us
or
we can fight our way
back into the light.
We can climb out of hell.
One inch, at a time.
Now I can’t do it for you.
I’m too old.
I look around and I see these young faces
and I think
I mean
I made every wrong choice a middle age man could make.
I uh….
I pissed away all my money
believe it or not.
I chased off
anyone who has ever loved me.
And lately,
I can’t even stand the face I see in the mirror.
You know when you get old in life
things get taken from you.
That’s, that’s part of life.
But,
you only learn that when you start losing stuff.
You find out that life is just a game of inches.
So is football.
Because in either game
life or football
the margin for error is so small.
I mean
one half step too late or to early
you don’t quite make it.
One half second too slow or too fast
and you don’t quite catch it.
The inches we need are everywhere around us.
They are in ever break of the game
every minute, every second.
On this team, we fight for that inch
On this team, we tear ourselves, and everyone around us
to pieces for that inch.
We CLAW with our finger nails for that inch.
Cause we know
when we add up all those inches
that’s going to make the fucking difference
between WINNING and LOSING
between LIVING and DYING.
I’ll tell you this
in any fight
it is the guy who is willing to die
who is going to win that inch.
And I know
if I am going to have any life anymore
it is because, I am still willing to fight, and die for that inch
because that is what LIVING is.
The six inches in front of your face.
Now I can’t make you do it.
You gotta look at the guy next to you.
Look into his eyes.
Now I think you are going to see a guy who will go that inch with you.
You are going to see a guy
who will sacrifice himself for this team
because he knows when it comes down to it,
you are gonna do the same thing for him.
That’s a team, gentlemen
and either we heal now, as a team,
or we will die as individuals.
That’s football guys.
That’s all it is.
Now, whattaya gonna do?

sources : http://ow.ly/1FUs1,  http://ow.ly/1FUES, IMDB, Wikipedia

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Letting Go

April 20, 2010

What can you let go?

We all have our own routines, and habits we take for granted. Some even call it rituals. Some of these might be draining our energy and distracting us from the truly important things in life. Would eliminating them free up time, energy and money?Really? Of course it would! The question is which ones do you consider to let go? Is it your daily Starbuck’s coffee on the way to the office or your afternoon snack? Is it your quest for the perfect car, the latest blockbuster DVD or that extra pair of designer shoes? Is it that after work drink with colleagues or your habit of eating out every day? Can it be your mobile phone upgrade to the next gadget or hype? What about those take-out meals or overrated posh vacations?

Indeed, we can certainly live with less, but what are we prepared to let go? Are all these things really what we were longing for? Let’s be honest here. Some things were bought because we felt the social pressure from our peers, friends, neighbours, etc. So, are you living their lives or your own? Let’s imagine you could choose again. What would you leave out? Probably a lot that you own right now. That’s exactly what we are looking for!

Oh, by the way, I bought a book recently (“Give It Up!” by Mary Carlomagno) about giving up a certain habit for 1 moth. She eliminates unnecessary facets of life, in order to determine what she could live without. You need examples? Think about alcohol, chocolate, television, dining out, elevators or cell phones. Isn’t that a great challenge? I dare you…

Let me finish with a great Buddhist saying (yes, I read it daily, because it hangs on our wall, thanks for asking!) that gives me a lot to think about:

“In the end what matters most is:
How well did you live
How well did you love
How well did you learn to let go”

So, just out of personal curiosity, what are you prepared to let go? And how well did you learn to let it go?

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Choosing Less

February 9, 2010

Choosing less is a daily challenge for everyone, regardless of where we are. We all have a lot of stuff. We all have the same challenge, whether we are living in a city or on the countryside. We are living in a culture that values “More is Better”.

To be honest, I sometimes hesitate about what to do next. Why? On the one hand it is rather tempting to turn my back on everything and start all over again. I am dreaming of a simple life on a sailboat and exploring the world, traveling all over the place or residing on a tropical island, away from civilization. Not the way Tom Hanks lives in Cast Away, but rather a modest beach shack in Samoa or Tonga, like “Big Z” in Surf’s Up.

Palms line Lalomanu Beach in Western Samoa. Photo:lonelyplanetimages.com

On the other hand, it’s probably easier to follow the hurdle and give in to the world of excess. And it’s probably true that a century ago it really was easier to step away from civilization and live in the woods or in some remote location. On top of that, in our modern society, it becomes harder to say “NO!” to all these great restaurants, luxury shops, new cars, gadget hypes, second homes, etc. The need for more is winning more supporters everyday. Even in remote locations they are dreaming of our western lifestyle.

Is it really possible to choose for less and to simplify our lives?

Yes, it is possible! Although I admit I sometimes even like the excess and luxury, it is a conscientious choice to choose less. For me it’s about Living Simply and Less is More. I know we can change in different ways and that one of my goals is to Slow Down. It is also clear to me that choosing less is not about plunging into poverty. What I am really longing for is a better quality of life. Remember, eat the chocolate first :-)

I want to focus more on the fun in life, rather than on being inspired by the “More is Better” way of life. I deliberately choose simplicity and more meaning in life instead. And you know, saying “no” to some of the excess, means saying “yes” to other opportunities that have more and lasting value. Or to put it in the words of John C. Maxwell: “Learn to say ‘no’ to the good, so you can say ‘yes’ to the best”!

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Slow Down

January 3, 2010

“Our culture puts a premium on speed, deifying this notion that faster is better, that you must fill every single moment with activity. There’s a powerful taboo that makes “slow” a dirty word. In this hyped-up world, we need to keep an eye on our personal speedometers – it’s very easy to do things fast just because everything else around you is going fast, without even considering whether or not it makes sense.”

- Carl Honoré -

I agree with him we are living in a world of speed. Also with my Genius Shortcuts and lifehacking fun I am speeding up activities, skills and results. This is what most people are looking for, besides a meaning in life, but that’s a different story :-) So, yes, I like speed. Why? Because it creates more time to have fun. More time to relax. If a boring activity takes me 4 hours, why would I be bored for 4 hours? What if I can do it in 1 hour with maintaining the quality of the results? I have 3 hours to slow down or do something else what is important to me. What’s the point in being frustrated for another 3 hours? None!

This also means that I certainly see the value of slowing down. With my focus on simplicity, finding the Genius Shortcuts and improving the fun we have, I know I am speeding up most of  (all?) the time. And I like it, because it brings so much joy and fulfillment. And did I mention the extra time? Right, to do whatever we like with it…This means slowing down tremendously! So, indeed, Carl is right when he talks about the impact of speed. He sees it from the pressure people are putting themselves under to get more and more. The difference is that most people never take time to slow down! Indeed not the right way to go…

Carl also talks about slowing down because of the impact on others and on our own body and mind. When he speedreads a bed-time story to his kids, even skipping a couple of paragraphs, we all agree that the most relaxing part of the day for his kids is hurried up by him. They know the stories inside out and question him about certain details in these stories, like “What happened to Grumpy?” If you only talk about 3 instead of 7 dwarfs in Snow White :-)

You can see how this became a wake-up call for him. And again, he was rushing too much instead of slowing down and take time for this  intimate and tender moment with his kids. So, he decided to change all that. He went on a business trip soon afterward. During that flight the first thing he did was doing nothing. Just sitting there and do nothing. Thinking about it, “wasting” time to reflect. By the time he got of that plane, he decided to take action and do something about it. He came up with 2 questions :

1. How do we get so fast?

2. Is it possible or desirable to slow down?

I’d answer the first question with my Genius Shortcuts.  Finding simple tricks that speed up the process and get the results faster. This means you can choose what to do with that extra time you’ve created. My choice is easy : more fun, more time to slow down and enjoy life. And that answers his second question. For me it is desirable to slow down. In fact it is a prerequisite to enjoy more!

By slowing down at the right moments we eat better, get healthier,  have more fun, are more relaxed and we get things better done. We work better and get better results, in fact a better life. How surprisingly :-)

You see how Carl and I are on the same wavelength here. To give you an even better perspective, have a look at his inspirational talk at TED. Enjoy it and take some time out to watch it fully!

After watching this, what action(s) are you going to take to slow down? Let us know… and take your time :-)

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Just Play

December 30, 2009

We typically spend less than 20% of our time doing what we like or even doing some work that is meaningful and enjoyable. At the same time we spend over 50% of our time doing work that is boring, meaningless and unsatisfying.

So, when I tell people that I turned this around and do exactly the opposite, most of them look at me with a puzzled face. They either don’t get it or don’t believe me. Luckily some do and these are the ones that are open to change and improvement.

Having said that, I came to the conclusion that most people are really stuck in their everyday situation. The sad part is that they know all this. So do you, right? Why are you stuck? Why are you settling for it. Why are you doing the stuff you are doing?

I want you to have a life full of dreams, possibilities and meaning! You deserve it! And sure, it might not be the easy way, but at least you’ll have a life… It takes clarity, focus and commitment to build it and to enjoy it.

Most people don’t know how to step out of their every day life. They don’t know (it anymore) what it is to really enjoy. Or to really play and have fun. So, one of the first steps in setting yourself free and stepping outside of your current framework is to Just Play!

By just playing, you start to rediscover the joy of fun, laughter and good times. Start with playing a game you liked as a kid or invite some friends over and play any kind of game. By playing we release tension and relax more. We get into the habit of smiling and fun. Imagine what our world would look like if we all had more fun…

So, would you commit to do something of fun this weekend? Would you commit to Just Play in 2010? Even if it doesn’t set you free, at least you’ll have a great time, right? Let me know what kind of fun you love to have, we all might enjoy it…

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Living Simply

December 27, 2009

Almost every day I have a conversation with someone on simplifying our lives. For most people it is very hard to understand that we do not want to continue in this “rat-race”. Of course, we still want a full life, but sometimes it is getting ridiculous. We have tried more and more of everything, only to find that life has not become easier, better or even what we hoped for. We are continuously running from one thing to another. More people, more fun, more money, on and on. We sometimes long for the day that it won’t be so busy. And who’s planning all that? Right, we are!

During these last months Tonia and I had several discussions on where our lives are going. Especially during her walk to Santiago. We came to the conclusion that we are making it too difficult for ourselves. Our lives are too complicated. There must be a simple way to change all that. Where is the Genius Shortcut here? :-)

So, it all changes now! We are committed to simplify our lives. How do we simplify the details that make up our lives? And aren’t those details important? Not anymore…We are thinking in a different kind of abundance now. We are downsizing and reorganizing our lives towards a continuous process of joy, freedom and contribution. To give you one example: with the extra money we are saving on our (new) house, we can travel more, explore more cultures and enroll for extra trainings. We are spending the same amount, but in an optimized way. Another example: some of the extra money we make on our house will be donated to a charity. Third example? While our monthly running costs are downsized, we can easily take another time-out or sabbatical when we feel like it. We no longer need months of savings to cover for us, while we are somewhere else enjoying more.

You see, we are looking at things in a different way now. We are living simply and at the same time achieving more. Less is more!

So, what could you do to simplify your life? Have you thought about that? Now would be a good time :-)

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but

December 22, 2009

We all have reasons and excuses for not doing something. We often find more contra than pro. So, we don’t do it. But, what if you want to do it? But, what if it would change your life? Eminem says it right when he sings : “Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted. One moment Would you capture it or just let it slip?” My question is, would you just let it slip? Let’s hear your excuse(s) :-)

Anyway, here is another brilliant commercial about the “BUT”-word. Plenty of reasons not to play ball…Pay special attention at the last one. Then think again. What’s keeping you from achieving your goals? So, get on with it and “Just do it!”

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Coach or Couch?

November 11, 2009

I am a very positive person with lots of enthusiasm. Sometimes I still get moved by the negative influence of others. By writing about it, I am sharing these feelings and I can give them a place. Several wise people told me, why don’t you blog about it…

Too many coaches I have met lately are giving me a less than positive or impressive feeling. It seems most of them are into coaching because they want the ride the wave. Of course, I respect everyone and granted that each coach has his own programme or model to work with. So do I. What surprises me mostly is that the majority of the coaches I have met so far are unhappy themselves! So, how do they expect to help others with this negative state of mind?

On top of that, it seems that most of them are more into a therapy kind of business model where they keep the customer (are they really coachees?) coming back on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. They actually stall the process of improvement for their customers. So, the longer it takes to have them make a couple of steps, the more money they get. Is this really in the best interest of the customer? They don’t think about that. Frankly, they don’t care. To me they are more a “couch” than a “coach”. They want people on their couch rather than really help people towards a happy, fulfilling life! This is where I step up and say “NO”!

I became a life coach, because I am passionate about it, not for the money. I help people create the life of their dreams. This excites me so much that it becomes hard not to do it! People who haven’t seen me in a couple of years really see the difference. I am enjoying a happy life and feel really “lucky”. I went through a massive transformation process myself. It has changed my life. By coaching others towards their goals in life and helping them to get clarity on what they really want or the legacy they want to create, I feel energized and satisfied. It brings me a lot of happiness and it shows…

My point is, if you choose a coach, take some time to see who he/she really is. Are they happy? It’s like love. You can only give it to others if you have lots of it yourself… I am also thanking you for your commitment to really change your life. Working with a coach which is indeed a great step forward. And of course, there are lots of great coaches available for you. Even coaches who work with a “couch”-programme. The question is, what type of coach suits you best? And who will actually take you to your dreams? Choose wisely!

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