Choosing Less

February 9, 2010

Choosing less is a daily challenge for everyone, regardless of where we are. We all have a lot of stuff. We all have the same challenge, whether we are living in a city or on the countryside. We are living in a culture that values “More is Better”.

To be honest, I sometimes hesitate about what to do next. Why? On the one hand it is rather tempting to turn my back on everything and start all over again. I am dreaming of a simple life on a sailboat and exploring the world, traveling all over the place or residing on a tropical island, away from civilization. Not the way Tom Hanks lives in Cast Away, but rather a modest beach shack in Samoa or Tonga, like “Big Z” in Surf’s Up.

Palms line Lalomanu Beach in Western Samoa. Photo:lonelyplanetimages.com

On the other hand, it’s probably easier to follow the hurdle and give in to the world of excess. And it’s probably true that a century ago it really was easier to step away from civilization and live in the woods or in some remote location. On top of that, in our modern society, it becomes harder to say “NO!” to all these great restaurants, luxury shops, new cars, gadget hypes, second homes, etc. The need for more is winning more supporters everyday. Even in remote locations they are dreaming of our western lifestyle.

Is it really possible to choose for less and to simplify our lives?

Yes, it is possible! Although I admit I sometimes even like the excess and luxury, it is a conscientious choice to choose less. For me it’s about Living Simply and Less is More. I know we can change in different ways and that one of my goals is to Slow Down. It is also clear to me that choosing less is not about plunging into poverty. What I am really longing for is a better quality of life. Remember, eat the chocolate first :-)

I want to focus more on the fun in life, rather than on being inspired by the “More is Better” way of life. I deliberately choose simplicity and more meaning in life instead. And you know, saying “no” to some of the excess, means saying “yes” to other opportunities that have more and lasting value. Or to put it in the words of John C. Maxwell: “Learn to say ‘no’ to the good, so you can say ‘yes’ to the best”!


Slow Down

January 3, 2010

“Our culture puts a premium on speed, deifying this notion that faster is better, that you must fill every single moment with activity. There’s a powerful taboo that makes “slow” a dirty word. In this hyped-up world, we need to keep an eye on our personal speedometers – it’s very easy to do things fast just because everything else around you is going fast, without even considering whether or not it makes sense.”

- Carl Honoré -

I agree with him we are living in a world of speed. Also with my Genius Shortcuts and lifehacking fun I am speeding up activities, skills and results. This is what most people are looking for, besides a meaning in life, but that’s a different story :-) So, yes, I like speed. Why? Because it creates more time to have fun. More time to relax. If a boring activity takes me 4 hours, why would I be bored for 4 hours? What if I can do it in 1 hour with maintaining the quality of the results? I have 3 hours to slow down or do something else what is important to me. What’s the point in being frustrated for another 3 hours? None!

This also means that I certainly see the value of slowing down. With my focus on simplicity, finding the Genius Shortcuts and improving the fun we have, I know I am speeding up most of  (all?) the time. And I like it, because it brings so much joy and fulfillment. And did I mention the extra time? Right, to do whatever we like with it…This means slowing down tremendously! So, indeed, Carl is right when he talks about the impact of speed. He sees it from the pressure people are putting themselves under to get more and more. The difference is that most people never take time to slow down! Indeed not the right way to go…

Carl also talks about slowing down because of the impact on others and on our own body and mind. When he speedreads a bed-time story to his kids, even skipping a couple of paragraphs, we all agree that the most relaxing part of the day for his kids is hurried up by him. They know the stories inside out and question him about certain details in these stories, like “What happened to Grumpy?” If you only talk about 3 instead of 7 dwarfs in Snow White :-)

You can see how this became a wake-up call for him. And again, he was rushing too much instead of slowing down and take time for this  intimate and tender moment with his kids. So, he decided to change all that. He went on a business trip soon afterward. During that flight the first thing he did was doing nothing. Just sitting there and do nothing. Thinking about it, “wasting” time to reflect. By the time he got of that plane, he decided to take action and do something about it. He came up with 2 questions :

1. How do we get so fast?

2. Is it possible or desirable to slow down?

I’d answer the first question with my Genius Shortcuts.  Finding simple tricks that speed up the process and get the results faster. This means you can choose what to do with that extra time you’ve created. My choice is easy : more fun, more time to slow down and enjoy life. And that answers his second question. For me it is desirable to slow down. In fact it is a prerequisite to enjoy more!

By slowing down at the right moments we eat better, get healthier,  have more fun, are more relaxed and we get things better done. We work better and get better results, in fact a better life. How surprisingly :-)

You see how Carl and I are on the same wavelength here. To give you an even better perspective, have a look at his inspirational talk at TED. Enjoy it and take some time out to watch it fully!

After watching this, what action(s) are you going to take to slow down? Let us know… and take your time :-)


Just Play

December 30, 2009

We typically spend less than 20% of our time doing what we like or even doing some work that is meaningful and enjoyable. At the same time we spend over 50% of our time doing work that is boring, meaningless and unsatisfying.

So, when I tell people that I turned this around and do exactly the opposite, most of them look at me with a puzzled face. They either don’t get it or don’t believe me. Luckily some do and these are the ones that are open to change and improvement.

Having said that, I came to the conclusion that most people are really stuck in their everyday situation. The sad part is that they know all this. So do you, right? Why are you stuck? Why are you settling for it. Why are you doing the stuff you are doing?

I want you to have a life full of dreams, possibilities and meaning!
You deserve it! And sure, it might not be the easy way, but at least you’ll have a life… It takes clarity, focus and commitment to build it and to enjoy it.

Most people don’t know how to step out of their every day life. They don’t know (it anymore) what it is to really enjoy. Or to really play and have fun. So, one of the first steps in setting yourself free and stepping outside of your current framework is to Just Play!

By just playing, you start to rediscover the joy of fun, laughter and good times. Start with playing a game you liked as a kid or invite some friends over and play any kind of game. By playing we release tension and relax more. We get into the habit of smiling and fun. Imagine what our world would look like if we all had more fun…

So, would you commit to do something of fun this weekend? Would you commit to Just Play in 2010? Even if it doesn’t set you free, at least you’ll have a great time, right? Let me know what kind of fun you love to have, we all might enjoy it…


Living Simply

December 27, 2009

Almost every day I have a conversation with someone on simplifying our lives. For most people it is very hard to understand that we do not want to continue in this “rat-race”. Of course, we still want a full life, but sometimes it is getting ridiculous. We have tried more and more of everything, only to find that life has not become easier, better or even what we hoped for. We are continuously running from one thing to another. More people, more fun, more money, on and on. We sometimes long for the day that it won’t be so busy. And who’s planning all that? Right, we are!

During these last months Tonia and I had several discussions on where our lives are going. Especially during her walk to Santiago. We came to the conclusion that we are making it too difficult for ourselves. Our lives are too complicated. There must be a simple way to change all that. Where is the Genius Shortcut here? :-)

So, it all changes now! We are committed to simplify our lives. How do we simplify the details that make up our lives? And aren’t those details important? Not anymore…We are thinking in a different kind of abundance now. We are downsizing and reorganizing our lives towards a continuous process of joy, freedom and contribution. To give you one example: with the extra money we are saving on our (new) house, we can travel more, explore more cultures and enroll for extra trainings. We are spending the same amount, but in an optimized way. Another example: some of the extra money we make on our house will be donated to a charity. Third example? While our monthly running costs are downsized, we can easily take another time-out or sabbatical when we feel like it. We no longer need months of savings to cover for us, while we are somewhere else enjoying more.

You see, we are looking at things in a different way now. We are living simply and at the same time achieving more. Less is more!

So, what could you do to simplify your life? Have you thought about that? Now would be a good time :-)


but

December 22, 2009

We all have reasons and excuses for not doing something. We often find more contra than pro. So, we don’t do it. But, what if you want to do it? But, what if it would change your life? Eminem says it right when he sings : “Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted. One moment Would you capture it or just let it slip?” My question is, would you just let it slip? Let’s hear your excuse(s) :-)

Anyway, here is another brilliant commercial about the “BUT”-word. Plenty of reasons not to play ball…Pay special attention at the last one. Then think again. What’s keeping you from achieving your goals? So, get on with it and “Just do it!”


Coach or Couch?

November 11, 2009

I am a very positive person with lots of enthusiasm. Sometimes I still get moved by the negative influence of others. By writing about it, I am sharing these feelings and I can give them a place. Several wise people told me, why don’t you blog about it…

Too many coaches I have met lately are giving me a less than positive or impressive feeling. It seems most of them are into coaching because they want the ride the wave. Of course, I respect everyone and granted that each coach has his own programme or model to work with. So do I. What surprises me mostly is that the majority of the coaches I have met so far are unhappy themselves! So, how do they expect to help others with this negative state of mind?

On top of that, it seems that most of them are more into a therapy kind of business model where they keep the customer (are they really coachees?) coming back on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. They actually stall the process of improvement for their customers. So, the longer it takes to have them make a couple of steps, the more money they get. Is this really in the best interest of the customer? They don’t think about that. Frankly, they don’t care. To me they are more a “couch” than a “coach”. They want people on their couch rather than really help people towards a happy, fulfilling life! This is where I step up and say “NO”!

I became a life coach, because I am passionate about it, not for the money. I help people create the life of their dreams. This excites me so much that it becomes hard not to do it! People who haven’t seen me in a couple of years really see the difference. I am enjoying a happy life and feel really “lucky”. I went through a massive transformation process myself. It has changed my life. By coaching others towards their goals in life and helping them to get clarity on what they really want or the legacy they want to create, I feel energized and satisfied. It brings me a lot of happiness and it shows…

My point is, if you choose a coach, take some time to see who he/she really is. Are they happy? It’s like love. You can only give it to others if you have lots of it yourself… I am also thanking you for your commitment to really change your life. Working with a coach which is indeed a great step forward. And of course, there are lots of great coaches available for you. Even coaches who work with a “couch”-programme. The question is, what type of coach suits you best? And who will actually take you to your dreams? Choose wisely!


GTD with fun

September 2, 2009

“Getting Things Done with Fun”

- Bert Verdonck -

This is definitely another perfect quote for me. GTDWF, Getting Things Done with Fun! What I really mean is that a lot of people are so focused on GTD alone that their life becomes a mechanical process. They might have a “mind like water”, but are they happy? Do they have fun? Some successful GTD-addicts don’t know what to do with their free time? How’s that possible? Why did they start applying GTD in the first place?

So, as a Creator,  I know that I always want to improve things. I am great at starting new things and new projects. And I admit, I am sometimes less of a finsiher. But, I am always looking to have fun! And the fun takes me to some extra steps, sometimes the necessary ones to finish a certain project. Here is my advice : Have fun, always!

It’s up to you to do something with it (or not). And if you’d be looking for ways to improve your life, how would you approach GTD with more fun? What action do you take?

Anyway, have fun in the process, always :-)


Extremely Proud

August 21, 2009

My wife ToniaAs many of you know, my wife Tonia is on the Camino to Santiago de Compostela (Spain) with her backpack. It’s been an exceptional adventure for her so far. And you know what? She passed the 1.500 km earlier this week! Can you believe that? 1.500 km on foot? Needless to say that I am extremely proud about her!

Here are a couple of reasons why she’s going on this trip :

  • Contemplating about a new direction in her professional life
  • Facing the fear of solitude
  • Facing the fear of asking something to people she doesn’t know (introvert!)
  • Becoming more independent and self-reliant
  • Reflect on who she really is. She wants to become an even better person.

To me, she’s almost the perfect woman. Wow! I love her!

So, if you are loosing track of who you really are or you have burn out/bore out or just want to start over, then taking a hike is probably a great way to get you started. I am not saying you must go on a 2.500 km hike as well. At least 1 month would be an excellent start. Oh stop it! Those are just excuses. Anyone can do it! So, can you!

I’ve met several people on my own (rather modest) trip (yes, only 800 km) two years ago, who also had children, a mortgage,  no preparation and a lot of physical challenges… If people who can’t even see well (lost her glasses), who are over 85 years old or who are terminally ill (with only 3 months to live) can walk this trip, then probably all of your reasons are just excuses. Well, if you would like to settle for mediocraty and the life you are having right now, then please do. If, however, you are longing for a magical, unforgettable, one-of-a-kind life, then it is time to step up and break your pattern! Just get up, out of your chair and start planning. Action is the keyword here… There is so much you can do! And if not for yourself, do it for your loved ones.

I know, I might sound rude. This might just be what you have been waiting for…someone to tell you that you can achieve anything! And it’s not falling from the sky onto your lap. You have to do something to reach it. So, once more, I invite you to reflect on your current life and dream about the life you could have. Setup an action plan and put it to work. A few weeks from now, major changes might have occured. And remember : today is the first day of the rest of your life! Spend it well!

PS : if you need some inspiration of what can happen to you, just read Tonia’s blog (in Dutch) or search for other people who went on the Camino to Compostela…


Three Questions

July 31, 2009

One day it occurred to a certain emperor that if he only knew the answers to three questions, he would never stray in any matter.

What is the best time to do each thing?

Who are the most important people to work with?

What is the most important thing to do at all times?

The emperor issued a decree throughout his kingdom announcing that whoever could answer the questions would receive a great reward. Many who read the decree made their way to the palace at once, each person with a different answer.

In reply to the first question, one person advised that the emperor make up a thorough time schedule, consecrating every hour, day, month, and year for certain tasks and then follow the schedule to the letter. Only then could he hope to do every task at the right time.

Another person replied that it was impossible to plan in advance and that the emperor should put all vain amusements aside and remain attentive to everything in order to know what to do at what time.

Someone else insisted that, by himself, the emperor could never hope to have all the foresight and competence necessary to decide when to do each and every task and what he really needed was to set up a Council of the Wise and then to act according to their advice.

Someone else said that certain matters required immediate decision and could not wait for consultation, but if he wanted to know in advance what was going to happen he should consult magicians and soothsayers.

The responses to the second question also lacked accord.

One person said that the emperor needed to place all his trust in administrators, another urged reliance on priests and monks, while others recommended physicians. Still others put their faith in warriors.

The third question
drew a similar variety of answers. Some said science was the most important pursuit. Others insisted on religion. Yet others claimed the most important thing was military skill.

The emperor was not pleased with any of the answers, and no reward was given.

After several nights of reflection, the emperor resolved to visit a hermit who lived up on the mountain and was said to be an enlightened man. The emperor wished to find the hermit to ask him the three questions, though he knew the hermit never left the mountains and was known to receive only the poor, refusing to have anything to do with persons of wealth or power. So the emperor disguised himself as a simple peasant and ordered his attendants to wait for him at the foot of the mountain while he climbed the slope alone to seek the hermit.

Reaching the holy man’s dwelling place, the emperor found the hermit digging a garden in front of his hut. When the hermit saw the stranger, he nodded his head in greeting and continued to dig. The labor was obviously hard on him. He was an old man, and each time he thrust his spade into the ground to turn the earth, he heaved heavily.

The emperor approached him and said, “I have come here to ask your help with three questions: When is the best time to do each thing? Who are the most important people to work with? What is the most important thing to do at all times?”

The hermit listened attentively but only patted the emperor on the shoulder and continued digging. The emperor said, “You must be tired. Here, let me give you a hand with that.” The hermit thanked him, handed the emperor the spade, and then sat down on the ground to rest.

After he had dug two rows, the emperor stopped and turned to the hermit and repeated his three questions. The hermit still did not answer, but instead stood up and pointed to the spade and said, “Why don’t you rest now? I can take over again.” But the emperor continued to dig. One hour passed, then two. Finally the sun began to set behind the mountain. The emperor put down the spade and said to the hermit, “I came here to ask if you could answer my three questions. But if you can’t give me any answer, please let me know so that I can get on may way home.”

The hermit lifted his head and asked the emperor, “Do you hear someone running over there?” The emperor turned his head. They both saw a man with a long white beard emerge from the woods. He ran wildly, pressing his hands against a bloody wound in his stomach. The man ran toward the emperor before falling unconscious to the ground, where he lay groaning. Opening the man’s clothing, the emperor and hermit saw that the man had received a deep gash. The emperor cleaned the wound thoroughly and then used his own shirt to bandage it, but the blood completely soaked it within minutes. He rinsed the shirt out and bandaged the wound a second time and continued to do so until the flow of blood had stopped.

At last the wounded man regained consciousness and asked for a drink of water. The emperor ran down to the stream and brought back a jug of fresh water. Meanwhile, the sun had disappeared and the night air had begun to turn cold. The hermit gave the emperor a hand in carrying the man into the hut where they laid him down on the hermit’s bed. The man closed his eyes and lay quietly. The emperor was worn out from the long day of climbing the mountain and digging the garden. Leaning against the doorway, he fell asleep. When he rose, the sun had already risen over the mountain. For a moment he forgot where he was and what he had come here for. He looked over to the bed and saw the wounded man also looking around him in confusion. When he saw the emperor, he stared at him intently and then said in a faint whisper, “Please forgive me.”

“But what have you done that I should forgive you?” the emperor asked.

“You do not know me, your majesty, but I know you. I was your sworn enemy, and I had vowed to take vengeance on you, for during the last war you killed my brother and seized my property. When I learned that you were coming alone to the mountain to meet the hermit, I resolved to surprise you on your way back to kill you. But after waiting a long time there was still no sign of you, and so I left my ambush in order to seek you out. But instead of finding you, I came across your attendants, who recognized me, giving me this wound. Luckily, I escaped and ran here. If I hadn’t met you I would surely be dead by now. I had intended to kill you, but instead you saved my life! I am ashamed and grateful beyond words. If I live, I vow to be your servant for the rest of my life, and I will bid my children and grandchildren to do the same. Please grant me your forgiveness.”

The emperor was overjoyed to see that he was so easily reconciled with a former enemy. He not only forgave the man but promised to return all the man’s property and to send his own physician and servants to wait on the man until he was completely healed. After ordering his attendants to take the man home, the emperor returned to see the hermit. Before returning to the palace the emperor wanted to repeat his three questions one last time. He found the hermit sowing seeds in the earth they had dug the day before.

The hermit stood up and looked at the emperor. “But your questions have already been answered.”

“How’s that?” the emperor asked, puzzled.

“Yesterday, if you had not taken pity on my age and given me a hand with digging these beds, you would have been attacked by that man on your way home. Then you would have deeply regretted not staying with me. Therefore the most important time was the time you were digging in the beds, the most important person was myself, and the most important pursuit was to help me. Later, when the wounded man ran up here, the most important time was the time you spent dressing his wound, for if you had not cared for him he would have died and you would have lost the chance to be reconciled with him. Likewise, he was the most important person, and the most important pursuit was taking care of his wound. Remember that there is only one important time and that is NOW. The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion. The most important person is always the person with whom you are, who is right before you, for who knows if you will have dealings with any other person in the future. The most important pursuit is making that person, the one standing at you side, happy, for that alone is the pursuit of life.”

Most of you might have read this inspiring story by Leo Tolstoy before, although I am sure a number of you haven’t.

So, do you agree with the hermit? I do :-)

What are your answers to these questions? And what other important questions do you have?

Have fun, always,

Bert


Reach at the Beach

June 27, 2009

Sometimes we are holding on to our limiting beliefs. Like we don’t have the money to become wealthy or that we are too young or too old for this. We don’t have the right background or education. We live in the wrong part of our town or the world. We don’t see ourselves driving that red Ferrari. It’s almost so unimaginable that I won’t even allow myself to think about it let alone be disappointed by it. So, I never start thinking about the possibilities or even visualizing them. This is the power of your limiting beliefs. It’s time to get rid of them as soon as possible. They’ve caused enough pain already!

Sure, I have them too. A lot less then I used to. Why? I found my Reach at the Beach!

Reach at the Beach

How does it work? Go to the beach, preferably a quiet beach where you can see miles of the beach at each side (100 meters will be great to!). Take a random spot on the beach that will be washed away when the flood arrives (yes this means going there between ebb and flood). Face the ocean (lake or sea), stretch your arms parallel to the ocean and turn 90° clockwise. Just look into the sand, right in front of you. Focus on a square meter (approx. 10 square feet). Think about all the failures in your life. Go back in time and relive the times when you did not reach your goals, the moments you felt like a loser. Relive the past of failed opportunities and bankrupt businesses. Look back at the times you were really disappointed in yourself. Feel the pain and experience the humiliation it caused. Concentrate and focus these negative thoughts into sand just in front of you. This is the last time you will ever think about them again!

Now, draw a horizontal line in the sand (1 meter or 3 feet). Promise yourself that you will never cross that line! You just physically separated yourself from all this negativity. Never, ever will you go to these negative thoughts and pain again. You will do whatever it takes to stay at this side of the line. Can you do that? How hard is it? It’s just a line in the sand, right? Wrong! It is the border of your limiting beliefs you are about to box in.

So, go to the beginning of your line at the left side. With your left foot draw another line of 1 meter (another 3 feet) that is 90° relatively to your existing line. Keep focusing on these negative feelings that are on the other side of the line. For 1 minute, think about all the excuses you have come up with in the past. These excuses were just to cover up your failures, but that’s all right. Then go the left once more and draw another 1 meter line in the sand, creating a U-shape with the existing 2 connected lines. You are now on the opposite side of your initial line, but you didn’t cross it! Now take another minute to reflect on these past, bad experiences. It’s about time you are letting these go. Think about all the anger towards the people who did make it, who are successful. Think about the spells (curses?) you put on them, the unfairness of why they got what you wanted. Think about your jealousy, perhaps even the hatred towards some people. Let it all come out. The bad energy is taking it best shot to bring you down! It knows that it is about to be beaten…

Then step to the left again and draw the final line in the sand, creating a square. Your negative experiences, internal pain and also limiting beliefs are now all in that square meter (10 feet). Jump 3 times up and down. Congratulate yourself for boxing in all that negativity!

Take 3 steps backwards and look at your square from a distance. Start smiling and look around at the beach. First look to the left and enjoy discovering how far it reaches. Listen to the waves arriving at the beach. Now look to the right and enjoy discovering how far the beach reaches to this side as well. Then take a good look at your tiny square in front of you. See how insignificant it is compared to the entire surface of the beach? Laugh at the ridiculously small square, because you have tricked your negativity, all of it, into this tiny, little square. It can’t go anywhere, because you’ve created an impenetrable boundary around it.

The beach is a great metaphor for your mind. It’s also vast and used to have small negative thoughts, which are now put into little boxes. Stay on the beach and enjoy the little square being washed away by the flood. The flood also takes away the squares or boxes in your mind. So, they cease to exist! They are all washed away for good! You can start with a clean beach and a clear mind. You can focus on the entire beach as your new playground. You can stretch your mind as far as the beach goes. Reach for the beach! Reach for the stars! Reach for anything you want! You can get it if you really want! If you can conceive it, you can achieve it! Imagine whatever you like. Visualize any dream. Go beyond your wildest dreams and start living them!

Enjoy every day!

Bert Verdonck

Lifehacker & Life Coach
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